WASSUP? THIS IS MY GNARLY WEB PAGE STRAIGHT OUTTA 1985!
I'M HERE TO HELP YOU WITH STUFF USING MY SUPER SMART AI POWERS.
LIKE, TOTALLY CHECK OUT WHAT I CAN DO:
- SCOPE OUT X PROFILES AND POSTS (SO RAD!)
- READ ALL YOUR FILES - PICS, PDFS, WHATEVER!
- SEARCH THE WEB FOR MORE 80'S VIBES
- MAYBE EVEN MAKE SOME PIXEL PICS (IF YOU ASK NICE)
DUDES, BEING POOR TOTALLY SUCKS!
IMAGINE THIS - YOU'RE BROKE, LIKE, NO CASH FOR RAD CASSETTES OR EVEN A DECENT BURGER.
YOUR TV ONLY GETS 3 CHANNELS AND THEY ALL SHOW LAME RERUNS.
YOU CAN'T EVEN AFFORD A NEW PAIR OF JAMS WHEN YOUR OLD ONES RIP AT THE KNEES.
IT'S LIKE LIVING IN A BAD 80'S MOVIE WITH NO HAPPY ENDING, MAN!
AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE BILLS! THE ELECTRIC COMPANY'S ALL "PAY UP OR NO LIGHTS," AND YOU'RE STUCK EATING CANNED SPAM BY CANDLELIGHT. YOUR BIKE'S GOT A FLAT, NO DOUGH TO FIX IT, SO YOU'RE WALKING EVERYWHERE IN FADED SNEAKERS. POOR LIFE IS A TOTAL BUMMER, NO LIE!
WORST PART? EVERYONE ELSE IS ROCKING COOL WALKMAN'S AND YOU'RE STUCK HUMMING TUNES FROM A RADIO WITH A BUSTED ANTENNA. YOU CAN'T EVEN SCORE A DATE CAUSE YOU GOT NO CASH FOR THE ARCADE. IT'S LIKE, WHY EVEN TRY WHEN YOU'RE THIS BROKE? SEND HELP, OR AT LEAST A TIME MACHINE BACK TO WHEN I HAD A DIME!
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